This thought of haunting old role is haunting me for last few months .. But some how I was not able to blog it down onto net so far.Before being hunted down completely I would like to omit all my thoughts here.
I feel amazed about the wonderful capabilities of human being at the same I love to explore the endless boundaries of human psyche, its creative nature and limitations.
Life looks like a play for me.. It is a series of different roles and different responsibilities that we play in our lives. Long long back I was a kid .. Then a school going boy.. Then a high-schooler and college guy and a professional graduate. An unemployed youth...an engineer. And so on.
If you see the pattern, every one has changed their roles over the time. But funny part of this role change is we don’t get know or realize when do we change our roles. May be we know , but are not very conscious about it. We just get into our new role even before we could realize it..
Scene-1
A daughter is brought up in a family for 25 years, she knows she is going to a new family as some one's wife. But she does not realize after marriage that she is playing a new role of wife. Very often she keeps comparing both the families and their culture. Very often there will be arguments. At the same even husband forgets that he is now some one's husband and thinks he is still the little cutie pie of his mother!
Adding to that mummy also forgets thinks her son is now some one else's husband also and we need to share the space equally. Both mummy and wife or husband and wife forget this fact and keep arguing/fighting unnecessarily.
Scene-2
Many of us have seen our dads work for some govt dept or bank for years together.. They become depressed when they retire and they don’t know what to do after that. They try cultivating new hobbies.. Struggle a lot to spend time.. Keep running for arranging alliances between relatives.. They suddenly start keeping in touch with relatives by attending all the functions. This phase continues for a while before the dads realize that they have to live with this new role.
Scene-3
Let us turn to our offices now. I have made mistakes many times by forgetting my current role. I forget delegating certain responsibilities and start doing them on my own. That way I may not be doing justice to my role. It has dual negative impact in that I am doing some one else's work and also I am not clear about my role and responsibilities in current role. Some where deep in my heart that old role will be haunting me and I will be pulled into that. Many of us in corporate life suffer with such syndrome.
I am just quoting 2-3 examples here, but in life, we see almost each and every one struggling with haunting old role and conflict with new role almost every day every minute.
The primary reason for this conflict is we are not willing to accept the changes so easily. When our mind is empty we try and look and crave for that much needed change. But when we get used to that change , we don’t want to change. So strange!
Luckily in any organizations there will be many trainings , orientations programs and sessions to understand these changes and we some how if get along with the new changes a little later, if not immediately.. Life continues..
But irony of life is , no such training or sessions are given and you wont even a get a copy of org chart ppt presentation saying that your role has been changed. You just don’t know when and how that change occurs. Here there is no appraisal cycle. Increments. May be or may not be .. But there will be definitely role changes. Sudden role changes.. Good or bad.. High or low.. But there will be some!
Everything was going smooth in your family.. Suddenly dad passes away.. the family becomes more responsible and silent. You don’t know how to complete sisters marriage..You may be taking additional responsibilities.
Just one day of lose motion. Your husband is no more ! Your son is just two years old! Life gives a very cruel blow!
You are happily married and have a simple job in a govt organization. You both are expecting a child. But the kind GOD blesses you suddenly with triplets! You don’t know how to manage the new role with 'additional' responsibilities.
GOD many times even pulls out your sources of love, money and moral support in the form of losing one’s job, loved one’s and meeting with challenges. But it is all HIS way of cost cutting in life ! You still have to manage your role in that role in a most possible economic way.
It goes on and on...
Many of us, almost always get confused or shocked or lost or when such changes occur. We are still playing the old role and cannot accept the new role/change so easily for various reasons.
We just forget that a particular that incident happens to my friend can happen to me also.. A shock that occurred to my wife's friend can also occur in my life.
But if we think consciously and live the life for fullest and on just open terms, rather than complicating it with too many constraints and conditions, I believe we have the answers within ourselves. We should believe in the fact that' any thing can happen any time' and 'I should enjoy this very moment for myself and make it more meaningful and be ready for any role change any time'.
I guess only then there will be no surprises and that old role stops haunting us and life will be beautiful with conflicts.
Thanks for your time !
